2.17.2007

i refuse to write about the hardships of marriage... the good outweighs the bad... at least so far...

2.07.2007

yes, i'm pissed at people who i saw as "my friends"... they were all fake... fake as plastic... with their fake emotions and fake smiles and fake compliments and great expectations... i'm pissed at always putting in more than people can handle and then getting pissed about not getting equally in return... i'm pissed for being pissed cause i should know better... i'm pissed that they didn't care that i left and didn't call to see how i did... i'm pissed for they treated me differently after i got married even though we made big rooms in our hearts for them and included them in our lives... i'm pissed that i went out of my way and now i'm at this stage... i'm pissed that i threw them parties and gave them rides and listened to them bitch and encouraged them and attended their fake parties that were given for the wrong reasons... i'm pissed that i cared... i'm pissed that i keep pretending that i don't care and i'm not hurt and it's all a thing of the past... i'm pissed that they blame my marriage for their reactions... i'm just pissed... i'm pissed for this and a lot more... i'm collectively pissed... at them... but mostly at myself for repeating this shitty pattern over and over again... either i'm a masochist or i have no clue on how to choose friends...
u get used to everything... even moving to arizona and living away from ur family...