12.22.2006

i'm back in the bay area... for a visit... i'm not excited... the minute i got off the plane i got this knot in my stomache... this town seems to have ties to people gone and memories faded... all those nights of parties and friends is a thing of the past... i said i never wanna grow up and get over it, but i have... they don't matter anymore... even the slight memories are not pleasant... i like growing up... growing up brings clarity... i'm living a different life... not a new one... but a different one... one i like... one i'm not confused about... one that is simple and straight... one that has less pain... less dependencies... friends that don't cheat and lie... people who don't manipulate... my mind is at ease... how could i have been so preoccupied about what people thought and said... i don't want to be that person anymore... i want to grow even older... so old and so comfortable... in my own skin...

No comments: