blog tag? yalda game? as far as i know, i've been playing for 5 years... but yet another 5 things u don't know about me?

--my favorite drink at starbucks is a tall non-fat latte and i stick to that... no banning starbucks for me... go large corporations, go capitalism

--i often suffer from constipation

--i don't shave, i use an epilator and i've learned that no matter how u go about it, it's all a pain in the butt and so i don't do it often

--the number of my facial stray hairs has been increasing over the years

--i think about my weight everyday cause i love food and i'm very lazy and don't exercise

i tag: mehraban, linda, shahin, ghazal, dodo

give us five...


we've been in the U.S. for 21 years... our stay here can have a few drinks now...


there's an innate sadness in me that's been there as far back as i have memories... i get distracted with life sometimes and forget about it temporarily or cover it up partially with friends and booze... but it's always there... like an ingrown nail, it stabs at me, but i can't cut it... i'm guilty of nurturing it too at times... sometimes i think i like that part of me and don't really want to give it up... it's a part of me that no one has access too and it's mine and only mine...

lovely friend i sensed a sadness in u too... hope all is well...


sometimes u remove urself from situations to numb the pain... i've done a great job of that by moving away...

it's a lonely christmas.


i'm back in the bay area... for a visit... i'm not excited... the minute i got off the plane i got this knot in my stomache... this town seems to have ties to people gone and memories faded... all those nights of parties and friends is a thing of the past... i said i never wanna grow up and get over it, but i have... they don't matter anymore... even the slight memories are not pleasant... i like growing up... growing up brings clarity... i'm living a different life... not a new one... but a different one... one i like... one i'm not confused about... one that is simple and straight... one that has less pain... less dependencies... friends that don't cheat and lie... people who don't manipulate... my mind is at ease... how could i have been so preoccupied about what people thought and said... i don't want to be that person anymore... i want to grow even older... so old and so comfortable... in my own skin...


things are not just black & white to me... things can't just be right or wrong... maybe that's why making decisions are so hard...

Homer and Nirvana will both be talked about way into the future... this is for both Homer and Nirvana fans to know...

how much and for how long do u owe someone even if they have done a favor for u in the past...

i blew some people off the past few days... people i had promised to meet... i just couldn't... my head was telling me that i should know better but my other parts would not cooperate... how guilty should i feel and for how long...

how long should a blog post really be... are people with longer posts more special than people with shorter posts... or the other way around...

are people who write novels greater than poets or short story writers... is writing poetry a cop out...

again... should i care about any of this...


my reactions frighten me
but my actions scare the hell out of me!


alone, i'm nothing.
i do nothing.
i create nothing.
i think nothing.

alone, i'm paralyzed.


i play with my silly putty.


--i bought "silly putty" yesterday cause as a kid i had it and it amused me much, but i don't know what to do with it now

--i found friends from the past on the internet and got excited and made initial contact and then never contacted them again

--i think i'm better than most, or deeper, or darker, or different--an elitist

--i have a secret that i cannot share under any circumstances, but 5 people know it

--i get hurt easily but i'm capable of hurting deeply

--i'm judgmental

--i drop my friends like flies and they all know it

--i'm really not that deep, but i give off the aura that i am by keeping silent or making a joke--i'm shallower than most know

--i may tell others' secrets at a time of excitement or non-caring

--i don't care much about anything, even things i think i'm passionate about

--i'm just another person

--i may have just lied about all this