11.26.2005

well let me tell u all about it... it's not easy being an adult and pursue a full time hobby at the same time... the commute is killing me... weekdays i'm practically done by the time i make it to and from work... weekends practically one full day is dedicated to the band... one day i try to split up between family and friends... it kills me to have to say no to my friends... i definitely can't say no to family... i'm not gonna even mention the weeks that we have to practice multiple times... the idea of fame and fortune is not as attractive when u're older... i question myself... why am i doing this? this music thing is taking time and effort and energy and i'm always tired... it's expensive too... and the energy between the band members takes extra energy as well... why am i doing this? it's not as pleasurable as 10 years ago... so why? am i still out to prove myself? am i done after just one performance? is this just another thing that i wanted to try and set aside? what is it? what am i gonna do if not this? what's next? why am i doing this? again and again and again. don't worry... i'm not about to quit... at least i won't initiate a band breakup... just like everything else i'm going to leave it to fate and see what's in store for me... we'll just see... i still believe that everything happens for a reason... so this is taking me somewhere... we'll just have to wait... together... we'll wait... u and i.

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