it does a body good.


it's getting warm and the fucking spiders are stressing the fuck outa me again! i constantly have fucking anxiety at home when i'm alone... just last night i managed to spray a big brown one right above my fucking bed... the corpse is still laying there... they are fucking freaking me out and taking over my life! i need fucking therapy! fuck! fuck! FUUUCK!

nope, it does not feel any better after all that swearing :-(

i need to move.


love does not bring loyalty. i've learned that much.


my friend has a theory that everything we do stems from some form of jealousy.

the more i think about it, the more it makes sense!
among the things i would want if life was perfect:

longer legs
better skin
smaller nose
happy new year to EVERYone.

does that cut it?


observations run deep

with them, they take feelings to the abyss


tired of making others happy

i'll just be myself

so what if a few people hate me?
there's so much pain and so much happiness in my heart at the same time that the balancing act is making me nauseous


some experiences kill a part of ur soul

i feel that there's big piece of mine missing
back to the subject of trust...

i reached the conclusion that my trust is gained when i know that someone truly, absolutely, unconditionally wants my best

don't take that lightly... wanting someone's best does not come naturally to us.


i guess it's true when they say "something's gotta give"

2005 started with a blast and still promises to be a wonderful year

however disappointments and conflict in friendships are sprouting all around me

i sense a change coming

i'll just stick to the other good things in life for now
things that make me run away fast, in the order of appearance:

1. conflict
2. guilt
3. sarcasm

just in case u wanna make me run.
another year older.


hmmm... maybe in some areas.


this is my 772nd post

now what?
get "involved"

get ur hands dirty
get ur mind tingling
feel a little pain
it's ok