damn! did dido write this song for me?!!

the CD came out today... wish i could send u all a copy...

to all the loved ones i left in tehran:

"Sand In My Shoes

Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed
But I'm home now
And things still look the same
I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack
Try to forget for one more night
That I'm back in my flat on the road
Where the cars never stop going through the night
To a life where I can't watch the sunset
I don't have time
I don't have time

I've still got sand in my shoes
And I can't shake the thought of you
I should get on, forget you
But why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again

Tomorrow's back to working down to sanity
Should run a bath and then clear up the mess I made before I left here
Try to remind myself that I was happy here
Before I knew that I could get on the plane and fly away
From the road where the cars never stop going through the night
To a life where I can't watch sunset
And take my time
Take all our time

I wanna see you again
Two weeks away, all it takes to change and turn me around I've fallen
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see you again"

download it while u can!


i still miss iran and everything about it... i miss my cousins... i miss laughing with them... i miss being accepted as a part of the family... u know what my aunt e-mailed to me? she said she'd always heard about me but she didn't know she was gonna fall in love with me... i love them all... each and every one of the family members... i guess they were expecting some blonde english-speaking funky girl to walk into their lives after 17 years... but they got me! they thought i was simple... and they liked me... and that made me happy... i had no idea i was gonna fit in so well and be accepted so openly... even by strangers... everyone was so nice... i miss the operator at borjeh boland (tall tower) cab company... i miss kAnAl in gisha and all the weird kids who hung out there... i miss shahreh ketAb (book world) and all the guys that worked there... i miss the coffee shops and pastoo's pasta and food court's tiramisu and rial bills in my purse... i miss all the weblog people i met... all their insides and outsides... i miss the heat... i miss the allergies... i miss... everything... everything... everyone... everyone... everything...
san francisco has the fattest pigeons...


sometimes i'm so ugly.

no one believes my reaction to this trip... and no one can imagine how it's touched me... i didn't even know how thirsty i was to be around family... i'm still trying to overcome the emotions... when i went back it felt like home... it was like i was never away... like the 17 years had been erased... three weeks seemed like a long time the first few days... but the last day it felt like three weeks had gone by in one day... it wasn't enough... now i look forward to the next time... why can't it be as easy as getting up and going and never returning?
my cousins are lovely and amazing... and the people of the weblog land are beautiful... literally
there are two 10,000 rial bills left in my purse from my trip... i don't wanna move them... i like seeing them every time i open my purse... makes me feel like home...
i've been back, but i still haven't called my friends... i'm not ready to go back to my real world yet... i just wanna be inside myself
let me tell u k-one... it will take a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery special person to bring out the weblog in me while in his/her presence
the dido song was on again this morning...

"Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be"


either severely jetlagged still or depressed

there's no winning, ha?
some of the places i ate or drank at:

--apache (hip fast food joint... they actually have happy meals!)

--ananas (beautiful cozy coffee shop with wonderful decor)

--raees coffee (serves starbucks coffee! the frappucino was great!)

--shooka (first coffee shop that opened on gandi when i was living there)

--shar (expensive pool hall/coffee shop/restaurant with menu items such as lobster, calamari, asparagus souffle, grilled mushrooms and non-alcoholic champagne)

--the japanese restaurant near vanak (yes, i had sushi in tehran... it was ok... just ok though)

--pastoo (yes, i had great pasta too! try the garlic olive oil if u go!)

--food court (u can find chinese, mexican, italian, french, bbq and many other cuisines there... the coffee shop has a great tiramisu!)

--some really nice coffee shop near mohseni square where the delesters (non-alcoholic beer) are served with a lot of foam in real beer mugs!

--the white tower (borjeh sefid) coffee shop where u have a 360 view of tehran

--the pizza joint at the end of geesha street... great pizza, warm atmosphere...
tehran, with its overly polluted air, indescribably crazy traffic, and less than mediocre customer service mesmerized me...

i'm living with the memories... i'm missing everything and everyone...


when i left, dido's single "white flag" was just out and i loved it... when i turned on the TV this morning the video for the song was on... it made me cry... the song will always remind me of my trip...
i'm back.


i left my heart in tehran.