11.23.2002

sometimes i don't have anything to think about
it's a problem
especially at bedtime
i like to think before i go to sleep
and i think and think and think
but i can't think of anything to think about
i don't have any dreams or aspirations or goals
i live day to day
and i don't mean living in the 'now'
it's not like i do what i want to do
but i do what i'm 'supposed' to do
the worst thing
(but the easiest thing)
is that i have accepted it that way
it's normal
and for the most part
i even enjoy it
i think i have ran out of things
that i want
to do
or see
or smell
or hear
or taste
or touch

basically
i
have
ran
out
of
things
to
think
about

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