10.25.2002

last night i was so down that it felt like i had this huge piece of triangular styrofoam growing in the middle of my chest... it was pushing my insides out and for quite a while it felt like i was going to explode... i wanted to get out of myself and just run and leave myself behind... and there was no particular reason for it... it was just loneliness and the feeling of lack of support i presume... but why, i have no idea! i just lay there waiting to burst into chunks... actually i couldn't wait to burst cause the pressure was intolerable... i felt if i burst at least all the stuff i was feeling would spill and get out of my system...

anyway... this morning when i woke up i was fine... like none of those feelings had existed the night before...

yes... i do have happy moments but i don't feel compelled to write when i actually do have them...

No comments: