10.13.2002

last night i entered this dark room… all by myself… with my long black coat… [this line is just for judy abbot:] "like i'm undercover"… the only thing missing was some fog!

i hate going places by myself… i feel insecure and unsafe… [the black coat helps of course… protecting me from the outside]… with my friends i'm a tower of confidence… without them i'm a mouse [something i would never confess to except in my weblog of course], standing in the corner nervously sipping on vodka/orange juice for lack of something better to do… i have to tell u… the single most memorable and worthwhile part of the night was meeting judy--the reason i had actually entered this dark room… she's as sweet and beautiful as her weblog… as soft and romantic as her drawings… [super to meet u judy… i know… next time we'll talk more… i can't wait!]

the rest of the time i had to watch fake people having fake conversations about even faker topics… wondering if i have ANYthing in common with ANY of them… who knows… maybe some of them had weblogs… but u couldn't tell… as i'm sure they couldn't tell that me or judy had weblogs…


and now… some awkward moments through the night:

--running into some guy who's my friend's friend and i keep running into here and there and have short conversations with… last night's conversation was about how old he feels being there… ok… well… go home!

--running into a couple who've just gotten married and actually having to pretend i was glad to see them and how i would like to keep in touch with them! (why on earth did i say that?!)

--running into multiple people from college days and having the crappy old so-what-do-u-do-now conversation without it ever going anywhere… i bet if u ask them today they won't remember my answers AND the other way around… so why waste so much energy?

--running into my boyfriend's friends and them thinking why on earth am i there by myself?! (not that i care, but damn it… it would be nice if my boyfriend actually went out with me sometimes!)

--and to top all the awkward moments: running into a wall right after i said goodbye to the just-married-couple and them actually asking if i was ok!

best part of the night right next to meeting judy abbot? getting into my car and getting outa there!

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